


wound up

by owenmeany



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Family Bonding, Marriage Proposal, Zoo, me writing joey with overwhelming anxiety: will not be explaining my actions at this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29271354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owenmeany/pseuds/owenmeany
Summary: "He tried to remember the speech. There was nothing there, only immediate memory. All those hours of exchanging drafts with Chandler and Monica and he could only think of her bright smile through the lens of his camera."Joey has a hard time keeping a secret from Rachel.
Relationships: Rachel Green/Joey Tribbiani
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 6





	wound up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [interabang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/interabang/gifts).



The moment he woke up, he felt wired, and quickly realised there would be no falling asleep again. By the time he was dressed, the sun had come up, and he felt that if he could do it over, he would never plan today this way again. 

He knew eventually that Rachel would notice, and this made him even more anxious. Every second step, he looked over his shoulder as though she might be there, tailing him. The general twitchiness kept the handful of other people in the grocery store this early at a distance. He was beginning to feel like he had it under control when Ross called, and he answered whilst trying to gingerly size up the cheaper of two ingredients. 

‘Are you listening?’ Ross sounded entertained.

‘Maybe.’ He chose the riper bananas and tried to shift the phone between his shoulder and his cheek. ‘Not really. Sorry.’

‘Don’t apologise.’ Ross laughed. ‘I was just saying the park zoo closes earlier today. Some kind of holiday thing.’

He stopped and put the basket down. ‘How would you know that?’

‘Me and Charlie went last weekend.’ 

He couldn’t remember what Rachel liked best; raspberries or strawberries? Or maybe he could and it was just the fog of nerves. 

‘Joey.’

‘Huh?’

‘Are you still there?’

‘Well if I - I just said huh.’

‘I meant were you listening.’

He switched his phone to the other shoulder and then piled both packets into his cart. ‘I told you.’

‘You said you weren’t listening.’ Ross laughed a little and exchanged a few words with someone else. In the background, a woman spoke gently.

‘Did you hear what I said?’ Ross tried again. ‘About the zoo?’

‘It shuts early?’

‘Exactly.’ There was a hesitation. ‘Well,’ Ross said, and then hung up.

In the baking section Joey tried to remember what they had at home. He bought one of everything - and two of the glacier cherries, because Emma liked to eat them before he’d finished cooking - and then at last what Ross had said seemed to settle.

He scrambled for his phone. 

‘Why are you calling me back?’

‘What time does it shut?’ He was aware he sounded panicked as he frantically wheeled his cart to the front of the store. His expression seemed to repel the cashier a little, his eyes too wide, his smile too forced, his hands struggling to retrieve his wallet from his jeans.

‘I don’t know.’ Ross sounded irritated. ‘Like a half day or something. It’s a corporate holiday.’

‘Corporate holiday?’ The cashier warily observed him swiping his card. ‘What is there to celebrate?’

‘Corporations?’ Distantly Charlie was laughing. ’I thought you’d appreciate the warning.’

‘Thanks.’ 

He ran two blocks back to the apartment and felt acutely like an old man by the time he reached the building’s lobby. The lifts in the building spent more time broken than fixed, and the view of the ceiling through the thin gap between the bannisters felt nauseating.

He was wheezing as he clattered into the flat and only after seemed to remember she might be asleep. Padding silently through the kitchen in a pair of Rachel’s socks, he made breakfast with the same nervous energy, and then sat to watch her eat it.

Of course she had noticed. He had a hard time hiding things. It had been the same way with her, at the beginning. 

Her hair was kind of fluffy where she had been lying on it, and darker at the roots. Probably soon she would ask him to help her dye it again. That was his favourite kind of Sunday. They would lounge around with Emma until one of them decided to make breakfast. In the afternoon, she would wash the dye out, and emerged from the bathroom like a whole new person. Personally he liked her however she was, roots or no; but he would be lying if he wasn’t excited for the Rachel with wet hair that wore his shirt in bed, unhurried and loving.

‘What’s wrong with you?’

‘Hm?’

‘You seem a little,’ she paused to chew and swallow her mouthful of pancake. ‘You seem a little wound up.’

He shrugged, leaning forward, and did that low shy smile she always liked. ‘That’s just you, I guess.’

‘I make you anxious?’

‘No!’ He said it a little too suddenly. She raised her eyebrows.

‘No,’ he said again, ‘Of course not. I want today to be perfect.’

He came over to her side of the bed and took her hand.

She frowned, reaching for her diary on the nightstand. ‘Did I forget something?’

‘No.’ He watched her flick through and settle on the day, a page that was blank beyond the stamped date in the top corner. ‘Nothing at all.’

‘Okay.’ When she smiled, he felt that twist of fear in his chest. The clock on the bedside counter said it was almost twelve.

‘You should hurry.’

She stopped eating. ‘Hurry?’

‘I’ve got a busy day planned!’

‘Joey, you just - why did you make this?’

‘I wanted you to have breakfast in bed.’ He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Her hair was soft against his upper lip. ‘And now I want you to have breakfast whilst getting ready.’

She nodded, watching him gently as his hands twitched at his sides.

‘I’ve never known you to get up this early.’ She pulled the covers off and came over to the chest of drawers. ‘But if it’s important—’, she said, stopping to check his awkward smile as his stood in the doorway watching her, the slip of her nightshirt over her legs, the sweep of hair around her neck, ‘—I guess I’ll just have to hurry.’

‘Thank you,’ he said, feeling himself wanting to stay as she picked out her underwear. She watched him expectantly. ‘I’m going, I’m going.’

So came the noticing; she seemed almost shocked to find him waiting on the couch with Emma on his knee.

‘You’re ready?’

He flexed his feet, the heels of his shoes scuffing the carpet. ‘Not without you.’

‘Very smooth.’ Her eyes were still wide; she spoke warmly, but distantly. She came over, and ran a hand through the downy hair on Emma’s head. ‘And you - you’re ready?’

Emma smiled. Joey lifted his rucksack and shook it a little. ‘She’s all packed. Luckily she had some pretty solid help.’

The harder he tried to behave normally - remembering all the ways she usually made him feel at ease - the more distance he put between them. All the way down the stairs she trailed behind him.

He turned and grinned, adjusting Emma at his hip. ‘You checking me out?’

‘Maybe.’ As they stepped out into the street, the sudden shock of sunlight made her blink. ‘Joey, is something wrong?’

He took her hand and swallowed. ‘Nope. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.’

They took her car. She seemed even more surprised by his insistence on driving. The whole time he was casting quick glances at the silent way she held herself in the passenger seat, thinking that if Ross hadn’t said anything at all, maybe he would be able to function like a normal person. 

He popped a disc into the stereo one handed. The opening of the first song made him bristle, though if she saw she didn’t say anything.

‘This sounds familiar.’ She leaned forward and turned up the volume. Maybe she was just happy he had done something other than watch the clock and the road with obvious panic.

‘Guess what it is.’

She tilted her head, eyes drifting from him to his window. ‘I’m not sure.’

‘It doesn’t have to be the band or anything.’

She turned and checked on Emma, giving her little foot a squeeze. When she turned back, she was frowning. 

‘I don’t know. You tell me.’

‘I’ll give you a hint.’

She laughed. ‘Just tell me!’

‘It’s a song—’ He shushed her when she laughed louder, ‘—that has significance for us.’

‘Is this a mixtape?’

‘You’re not going to guess?’

‘Did you make me a mixtape?’

‘Maybe.’ He looked away. ‘Yeah. And?’

She stretched across the gear stick to gently touch his knee, then reach for his hand; he took one off the wheel and held her. 

‘You’re cute,’ she said. ‘That’s all.’

‘That’s all?’ The song coming out the speakers like syrup, sweet and fine. The blue sky between the tall buildings, the sun through the windows. ‘You only like me for my pretty face?’

She shrugged. ‘Not only. But it’s a big draw.’ She let go to poke his cheek, press his chin with her thumb and forefinger. ‘You should really go into modelling.’

He had known her years and loved her longer and still he felt his face go hot under her touch. He set his jaw and watched the road ahead. The delay would be worse if he rear ended some tourist with Rachel’s car. 

‘Are you blushing?’ 

‘You’re just trying to get out of the question!’

She grinned. ‘Phone a friend?’ 

Her front teeth caught her bottom lip as she looked at him. He watched the road; he told himself he was watching the road. 

The nervousness swelled inside the cafe. Rachel was pointedly polite and considerate as he had lead her inside, and as he had given his name for the reservation, and even as they had arranged the chairs with Emma between them. Once they had sat down and the waiter had gone, she looked over a menu with some focus before trying for an answer.

‘So you made me skip a meal,’ she said, dragging her finger down the list of daily specials, 'to go get the next one?’

He reached across the table to run a finger over the back of her hand. Her eyes rose from the menu.

‘Not deliberately.’ He propped a hand under his chin. ‘Admittedly my timing hasn’t been great.’ 

‘I can’t believe I thought this was going to be something terrible.’

‘Terrible?’

‘Like you had bad news.’ She flicked through the booklet. ‘Maybe you were involved with something?’

‘Because I made you skip breakfast?’

‘For lunch!’

He thought about this. The waiter brought over their drinks. Rachel watched him fondly as he tried and failed to pierce Emma’s juice box with the straw. The waiter also watched him struggle for a moment before offering a silent hand. It was the world’s most mundane hostage exchange, done with maximum humility and no talking; afterwards the waiter set the box on the table in front of Emma and went to the kitchen.

‘I mean.’ Joey watched Emma take a tentative sip. ‘I’m no criminal. Doesn’t it seem like a long con to date you for years and then kidnap you?’

She raised her eyebrows. ‘I don’t know. Only you mentioned kidnapping.’ She smiled. ‘Am I in danger?’

The waiter returned to take their orders. After he had taken the menus, Rachel leaned over the table to kiss him. The angle was a little awkward and she missed his mouth.

‘Did you just kiss my ear?’

‘That was your temple.’

‘Felt like my ear.’ After a moment, he looked down into his lap. ‘What was that for?’

‘I have an idea.’

He drew back and made a show of crossing his arms. ‘Really?’

‘A guess. About what this is.’

He braced his free hand against his jeans, digging the stubs of his nails into the denim.

‘Yeah?’

‘Well, the song - I still have no idea. But I know that I’ve heard it. Which makes me think it’s special to you. And then the Bajan food - is this because we couldn’t go on holiday this year?’

He shrugged. ‘Not a bad guess.’

‘But not correct?’

‘Wait and see,’ he said. The waiter brought their food out. Emma slapped the table, excited, and then recoiled from the clink of the cutlery.

After the meal they walked through the early afternoon to Central Park. He had intended to take his time here and began rehearsing the little speech he had run past Chandler several dozen times. Initially he thought Phoebe might have the better performer. When they put their heads together, he realised neither of them really understood grammar - whereas Chandler had actually read a book in the last three years, and understood how to write things that made sense. Whilst he practiced, time slipped on.

‘Why are you jogging like that?’ Rachel was laughing at him for running ahead.

He bent double and regretted eating so much. ‘Military pace. We’re on a deadline.’

‘For what?’ When she caught up, she stopped to rub his back a little. He stood sheepishly and grabbed her hand.

‘Before the sun goes down.’

‘It’s two thirty!’

If she noticed the way he was sweating she had, as always, the decency not to mention it. On they went, shifting Emma between them. In the queue for the zoo, they caught their breath. He could feel Rachel trying to catch his gaze. Looking at his shoes, he practiced the first line. Rachel, I love you— Rachel, I love you— but he found he couldn’t get much further.

Once they had paid entry, he felt himself relax. Now that he was here, all of it seemed inevitable; it was nicer to wander through the exhibits as Emma found things she wanted to do and say. He was careful to take photos of them both as they made their way along the guided route, trying to hold on to it all. Emma’s little wide-eyed grin as the penguins waddled past; Rachel’s suppressed laugh at the more reclusive animals, the sluggish red pandas napping high in the enclosures and the slow, giant shapes of the Grizzly Bears. They held Emma between them, sometimes swinging and lifting her when she asked for it. There was no better sound than her high squealing laugh tempered by Rachel’s gentle one.

By the snow leopards, Emma began to grumble a little. He helped Rachel lift her up to see the cats through the glass, and stepped back to take photos of them both. He found himself waiting for the particular quirk of Rachel’s smile across her face as Emma made her laugh. He lowered the camera, after, and watched them. He wanted to remember this unaided. Every detail of how she looked when she was happy. When she noticed, he leaned over to brush her hair behind her ears. 

‘Why are you doing that?’

He drew his hand back. ‘You don’t like it? I can stop.’

‘What?’

‘Your hair—’

‘No, Joey, that was - I liked that. I always do.’ She bounced Emma a little to keep her busy. One of the cats flopped onto a large rock to fan itself in the sun. ‘Why do you keep looking at me like that?’

‘Like what?’ He put a hand into his rucksack, nervous, and began to root around. This seemed to be the moment and now suddenly he was afraid he might have lost it or dropped it or forgotten it or only dreamt that he had bought it at all.

‘You look.’ She watched with wide eyes as his searching became urgent. He did his best to keep looking at her as he grasped around in the bag, though this seemed to unsettle her more. ‘You look sad. You have been all day.’ She looked at the floor. ‘Are you breaking up with me?’

‘What!’ He dropped the bag. It made a dull clunk at it hit the ground.

‘Are you — you just—’ Something wobbling in her voice. He reached for her hand and held it tightly. 

‘I didn’t want to do this here, I had it all planned out. It was just — bad timing.’

She flinched. ‘So you are—’

‘No, no.’ He tried to crouch whilst still holding her hand but nearly yanked her down. Letting her go somewhat apologetically, he began to turn the bag out onto the concrete in front of them. He pushed aside sandwich bags and chip packets as he felt people around them beginning to watch. Near the bottom was the spare clothing for Emma and an extra sunhat. If there hadn’t been a lead weight in his belly, placed there by the minute break of Rachel’s voice as she had looked away from him to speak, then he might have taken stock of this moment; when he first met Rachel he never left home with a bag. Now he packed for himself and others, he was mindful of others, and he had a family.

‘I know it’s in here.’ He shook the bag a little and then tried the front pocket. It was empty but for the box. As his fingers curled around it, the lead weight jumped up into his throat and made it hard to speak. 

‘Joey, what—’

‘Rachel.’ He tried to stand but was shaking so badly it looked a fall; his knee hit the ground with a thud and he grit his teeth as he looked up at her. The fear melted away into frustration as she peered at him. She frowned as he drew his other knee up in front of him and opened the box.

‘Happy anniversary.’ He tried to remember the speech. There was nothing there, only immediate memory. All those hours of exchanging drafts with Chandler and Monica and he could only think of her bright smile through the lens of his camera. ‘Rachel, I - will you—’

She nodded, reaching for his shoulder, and helped him to stand.

‘Will you.’ It was hard to speak. He tried again. ‘Would you want to—’

‘Joey,’ she said. ‘Of course.’

She didn’t even reach for the ring. Instead she put a hand under his chin and kissed him, properly this time, and smiled where she felt the beat of his pulse under the skin.

‘Are you shaking?’

He laughed. ‘Yeah.’

In the car home, she turned the stereo up and practiced putting her hand against the dashboard to make the ring catch the light. Every time the first track finished, she hit rewind and played it again.

He saw the moment she recognised it. The sun was slipping away and Emma was asleep in the back seat. Rachel tilted her head again and shut her eyes. She reached over the gearstick for his hand. When she opened them, she looked at him without turning and nodded.

\---

**Author's Note:**

> everyone i live with: please stop blasting untitled by interpol  
> me, shaking, having watched 10 seasons of friends in 4 weeks: but they don't know about the joey/rachel get together
> 
> interabang: hope this is okay buddy! i know it’s majorly ooc, but if you feel anything is really out of line let me know and we can revise it - i want to give you the best exchange gift possible. 
> 
> also, i tried to write as many fics / treats as possible but unfortunately i didn’t know all of the properties you requested, so apologies if this feels a little limited. on the plus side, this did finally motivate me to watch friends, and i started critical role yesterday, so i owe you a big thanks :)
> 
> i'm on tumblr here [(x)](https://om-johnirv.tumblr.com)


End file.
